


Always & Forever

by OneOfThoseCrazyGirls



Series: Anidala Fics [1]
Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Apologies, Darth Vader has a secret shrine for Padme, F/M, Loss, Love, Monologue, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2015-10-06
Packaged: 2018-04-25 04:47:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4947304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneOfThoseCrazyGirls/pseuds/OneOfThoseCrazyGirls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darth Vader has a secret shrine for his late wife. One day he decides to visit it and apologize for everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always & Forever

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a fan art that I saw.
> 
> This whole thing is basically just a monologue so I didn't bother with quotation marks.

From the first moment I saw you I knew. I knew you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I thought you were an angel. Do you remember that? You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. And you were so strong. You were thrust into this position of power at such a young age. You had to deal with the Trade Federation and the Droid Army, but your strength never wavered.

As the years went by and we spent so much time apart, I never stopped thinking about you. Not for one single moment. I think Obi-Wan could always sense that though he never really said anything.

When we were assigned as your bodyguards, I think my heart leaped at least ten feet out of my chest. I was so excited. No, excited is an understatement. I was elated. And I was nervous. I paced my room for hours. All these thoughts rushed through my mind. What if you didn’t remember me? What if you didn’t feel the same way that I felt? I was practically shaking the entire elevator ride up to your apartment. When we first arrived and I saw you again, for the first time in ten years, my heart skipped a beat. A few beats, actually. You were even more beautiful than I remembered. You were so poised and elegant. And so, so strong.

From the moment you stepped back into my life I hated every second that I had to be away from you. All I wanted to do was hold you in my arms and kiss you forever. I didn’t care if I was expelled from the Jedi order, I didn’t care about anything except you.

When we said our vows and were finally man and wife, I had never felt so happy in my life. Even when I was freed from slavery or when I became a Jedi, none of that compared to the moment I said “I do.”

After we were married, I almost loathed going on missions. I always thought: what if I was killed? I would never see you again. I tried not to be as reckless. I tried not to be the hero. Just so that I would always return home to you.

I wish I could’ve been the man you always knew I was.

I loved watching your stomach grow every day with the child, our child, inside of you. Having never really had a father myself, besides Obi-Wan, I was so nervous about what kind of father I would be. But, you were always quick to reassure me. You knew I would be amazing. You knew I would be someone that our child could look up to.

Our children are…you would be so proud of them. Luke is a Jedi, he’s so powerful, and so good. He’s a much better man than I ever was. And Leia, she has your strength and your poise.

I just want to tell you that I’m sorry. I can’t say it enough. I’m sorry for the man I became. I’m sorry that I was never good enough for you. I’m sorry that I killed you. I’m sorry that I killed Obi-Wan, too. He was like a father to me, he was my mentor and my protector. I’m so sorry that I allowed myself to become twisted beyond recognition. I never wanted any of this to happen. I just wanted to save you. I just wanted us to be together forever. I love you, Padme. I’ll never stop loving you. I love you more than words can express. I hope to one day see you again. And I can hold you in my arms like I used to. Always.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> tumblr - oneofthosecrazygirls-fics


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